Change is something that I tussle with. On one hand, I love change because it keeps me sharp and may give me a try at something different. On the other hand, change gives me an anxiety that’s filled with hopelessness and lack of control. Some of the best progress in my life was made in those moments where any sane person would’ve given up at the very beginning. I could list any number of fuzzy, inspirational quotes about pushing forward, but the truth is that you just have to go for it. Sink or swim. Win or lose.
Change is uncomfortable. Moving to North Carolina with no job or apartment in sight?Uncomfortable. Pursuing jobs in fields which I had not a lick of experience? Uncomfortable. Finding a decent paying job but having no guarantee of a place to live because of constantly being denied? REALLY uncomfortable. Even committing to my blog and personal growth has been uncomfortable. I love the idea of stability. There’s nothing I want more in this world but whenever I’m stable in one area, there’s a major shift in another. Sometimes we are FORCED to change without any idea of what the outcome may be. It’s scary as hell, but that’s where I thrive.
Being forced to make a life shift always seems like a negative at first. Those are also the kinds of change that I’ve come to love, not because it’s a fun experience, but because it’s the kind that I experience the most so I figured I’d get used to it. Each time I learn a lot about myself and how resilient I can really be. In that period between beginning and end, the place where the nitty gets gritty, there are plenty of moments where I have not a hope in the world and that’s okay. We all need those moments, but you have to focus on the silver linings like nobody’s business. I’m motivated by knowing that everything comes to an end. I’m motivated by being able to look back and say “I remember when”.
Some tough change is self-inflicted and some is just out of your control. That rough patch could be the greatest moment in your life. That rock bottom means you have nothing else to lose and everything to gain. It could be the one moment that’s preparing you for something more amazing than you can fathom. That’s enough to keep me going, I hope it helps you too.