Dating

Jonesin’

I remember watching “Love Jones” as a kid and thinking it was a good movie. It wasn’t until about 2 years ago that I saw it again for the first time as an adult–how I made it that long without ever seeing the movie, I don’t understand. Now, it’s not just a good movie. It’s relatable. It reminds me just how much time and experience changes our perspective on matters.

It’s been years since my last “relationship”. I use quotations because in hindsight, I don’t know if that word fits the bill…but I digress. I’ve been out of the game for a while, but I haven’t forgotten the push and pull of love. There’s that cloudiness of heart vs mind. You love that person but you don’t want to feel like a lame because you fell so quickly. Then there’s the time where you both are like, “Cool. We love each other”. That’s when it gets real and you have a full blown relationship. Then you get comfortable with each other, maybe too comfortable, and you learn whether or not you really have lasting power.

I said “too comfortable” because maybe  you’re comfortable to the point where insecurity has a moment to rear its ugly head. You feel like this comfort is too good to be true so something must be wrong, so your mind searches to find that wrong thing. Sometimes you’re right and there’s a real issue that needs to be addressed, other times it really is all in your head. This is the period where your relationship is tested. You’re forced to communicate in a deeper way than you had previously. You have to get a little uncomfortable, these are the growing pains.

Love can put you through, but it also brings you through. That’s the message I get from the movie these days. Keshia the kid had no way of understanding the complexities of love. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I fully understood even in my early 20s. I guess it really is grown folks business.

 

 

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