It was 2:40 am. I’d finally forced myself to put away my journal and laptop so that I could at least grab 4 hours of sleep. I had a planned meet-up before work and I didn’t want to be late. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my plan for sleep was thwarted. The voice inside my head repeatedly asked me, “How hard are you willing to work?”. How did I answer? I grabbed my phone and I started typing.
I have had many nights that were similar to that night, but this one was a bit different. That same night I had experienced a feeling of frustration like never before. I was upset about how hard it has been for me to step out of my comfort zone by working to set up a different life for myself. When you see the entrepreneurs who preach about how they were able to quit their jobs and build their own lives from scratch, you have no real sense of the hard work that goes into it. They try to give you a glimpse beyond the mystique by sharing their growing pains, but there’s nothing like the act of experiencing them yourself. I’ve experienced so many growing pains lately that I’ve sometimes wondered if this is all a waste of my time. That night, every frustration I’d had up to that point culminated in the sound of that voice, and it was at that point that I was reminded: this is SO worth it
I want every reader of this blog to understand that I am constantly working to practice everything that I preach in these posts. I’m here to tell you that living your life in pursuit of purpose is NOT cute. There are plenty of sleepless nights and very long days. There are plenty of times where I doubt my abilities. There are days where I can’t envision myself in any position in life aside from the one in which I currently reside. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Do I really want to live this way?
You bet your ass I do. That voice in my head was more than a push, it was the sound of progress. I am consistently growing in my abilities and in my drive to succeed. How hard am I willing to work? I’m willing to keep working until that same voice in my head is yelling, “See, I knew you could do it!”. I refuse to give up on myself and I will continue to push myself out of the comfort zone and into the growth zone.