I am my biggest critic. When I’m unsure about something, I open the doors of my fight club (I’m the only member allowed, sorry) and I go into a very negative frame of thought.
I can be super positive for the most part, but there are so many times where I can be really hard on myself. These days, I am working so hard to accomplish new things, but I sometimes feel like I am incompetent. There are times where I feel like I’m barely making things happen. These are the times where my confidence needs the most boosting. Recently, a friend gave me some sound advice. He taught me that you sometimes have to borrow confidence from those who believe in you until you have enough confidence of your own. It sounds simple enough, but how simple is it?
Allowing someone to lend you the confidence necessary in digging yourself out of your personal fight club can be difficult. When I’m mad at myself, I tend to get so ANNOYED that if you tell me everything is going to be fine, I’m usually poised and ready to rip your head off of your shoulders. I may very well believe what you’re saying to me, but I have to cool off enough to receive it. I’ve been trying to figure out why I beat myself up that way and I think that I may be closer than ever to the conclusion.
I like to do things on my own.
It’s as simple as that. I’m not the only one who likes to think that they can do things using their own power. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the desire to make things happen for yourself; the issue is that it can make it hard for you to recognize the need for help. It can be hard to concede to the idea that someone else is helping you. At this point, you might be saying to yourself, “I don’t need anybody for anything, I can provide for myself!”. That’s cute. You may not need help with tangible resources, but we all can use a sincere vote of confidence. Having someone–that you can trust–tell you that you CAN achieve your goals can be better than any tangible resource out there.
If you don’t believe in yourself enough, then you’re more likely to throw in the towel. Now that you’ve thrown in that towel, you’ve accomplished nothing at all. Now that you’ve accomplished nothing, you’re even more unsure of yourself and beating yourself up because you gave up. The moral of this post is to seek out someone who can lend you the confidence you need to press forward in the same way that you search for other resources. Don’t be too prideful to accept the loan. As you push forward and check off your milestones, you’ll gain more confidence in yourself–the greatest accomplishment of all.