blogging · Life · Positivity

Blogging When Life Is Hectic: Where’s the Balance?

sleepy-duck
I’m just as tired, but not as cute as this little duckling

Sooooo…it’s been a couple of weeks since my last post–quite a lot has happened since then. I originally intended to only be away for a weekend because I knew that work would be crazy for those days but things seemed to take another direction.

 

Working in retail sales, September marks the beginning of our busy season. It is at this point that we are ending our third quarter and gearing up for the fourth quarter. You can’t really prepare for it, you just kinda deal with it as you go along. The hours and the stress of the customer-facing nature of the business create the perfect recipe for exhaustion, leaving the mind and body with very little energy for anything else. Since I’d been so excited about blogging in these first few months, I am saddened by how little I’ve been able to produce. I’ve even been upset with myself at times simply because the fatigue has clouded my mind so much.

This is no good. 

You ever been so tired that your mind feels like mush? You ever had days where you’re mentally ready to get back on the horse but your body knocks you back to the ground? That’s how these past 2 weeks have been. Writing has been tough, but I’d resolved to at least make sure that I kept my reading mission going (“F*ck Feelings” is still pretty awesome by the way) so I could have my mind focus on something.

I’m still working to find a balance for blogging when my real life is hectic, and I’m not giving up. I know I’m not the first to have these challenges, and I know I won’t be the last. I also know that I love blogging and really want to grow as a writer so I need the continued practice.

If you’ve ever dealt with this struggle, what techniques did you use to get closer to balance? Did you ever learn to balance blogging with the chaos of your real life, or are you just making it work? Leave me a clue, a sign, or something in the comments.

I definitely need all the help I can get.

blogging · books · Wellness

Books Galore!!


I’ve challenged myself to pick up my reading habit again. I enjoy writing but reading eases my mind better than any other activity. Reading inspires me. Since I am always searching for writing inspiration, reading is what I shall do.

I don’t aspire to be some self-help guru, but I like that some people actually value my advice. Well, sometimes I need to hear such advice from other sources too. My last reading spell involved suspense novels, but my latest purchases fall within the “self-help” genre.

These are my latest Amazon purchases:

“F*ck Feelings: One Shrink’s Practical Advice for Managing All Life’s Impossible Problems”  by Michael I. Bennett, MD and Sarah Bennettfckfeelings

 

“Originals: How Non-Conformists Move The World” by Adam Grant

originals

“The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D.

magic-thinking

I will be reading “F*ck Feelings” first! If you’ve read either of these books, be sure to comment and tell me what you thought.

I’m hoping to become inspired by my readings. I will share the experience as I go!

All photos courtesy of Amazon.com

 

blogging · Wellness

Finding Inspiration In The Midst Of Madness

work-read-blog

Work has been super busy lately. Due to such madness, writing has become more of a challenge–this is my first busy season since starting this blog–but I am intent on finding a balance. I ask in advance that you forgive me for any gaps between my blog posts as I work to find my way. 

~ Keesh

Having become so caught up in my job, I am reminded daily of how difficult writing can be. Before starting this post, I brainstormed in search of inspiration. The biggest problem I have is that when I answer the question “What are you thinking?”, I find that I spend a lot of time not thinking at all.

After dealing with customers for hours, it seems that my mind is set on finding peace in nothingness. Have you ever driven from work and had no recollection of what the drive was like? I mean, you’ve made it from point A to point B but you have absolutely no idea as to how you got there. This is how my day-to-day thinking works sometimes. I go to work and give my customers every bit of my energy and attention. When I get home, I don’t give my brain the attention it needs.

Blogging was meant to help exercise my brain, but this wasn’t always the case. Before starting my current job, I buried myself in books because reading was such brain stimulation. Well, I’ve decided to go back to where I started and get my reading mojo back. Instead of reading my usual novels of suspense and drama, I’ll be taking a different approach.

My current mission is to adopt a healthier mindset. I want to better position myself for success and I know that the proper mindset is essential to making it happen–where the head goes, the body follows. WORK. READ. BLOG. This shall be my life for the next few months. I’m looking forward to the peace that reading gives me and I’m sure it will inspire my writing.

What will I be reading? I’ll share my books in the next post.

blogging · Dating · Life · Positivity · relationships

Advice From Pretty Men

 

beautiful tina
I really had no intended photo for today’s post, so here’s a gif of my fave Tina Belcher courtesy of giphy.com

 

I’m not sure what happened, or even WHEN it happened, but there’s been a sudden rise in pretty men giving women advice. These men make videos and post statuses that tell women just why their relationships are unsuccessful, why their mindset needs to change, why they’re not attracting decent men, what men are looking for, and even telling men what they are doing wrong (women REALLY eat this part up it says, “Oh, he’s on our side!”). I’ve seen quite a few of these “attractive advisors”, and I’ve been left with questions:

Isn’t this common sense? Why are these women eating this up as if they’ve never heard of these basic concepts before? Haven’t they lived and experienced on their own to learn these things without having this pretty man tell them what’s up?

Nothing that I have seen or heard from these men has been mind-blowing. Hell, I’ve been saying some of the same things for years! I have friends who’ve said the same things! A lot of the ideas are just logical concepts on how relationships and human interaction work–LOGICAL. They’re just delivered by a handsome face and a smile. Are women incapable of understanding logical ideas unless their presented by a man?

I think women are VERY capable, which is why these men bother me and the women who follow them puzzle me. It’s bad enough that women are seen as “emotional creatures who can’t possibly make decisions based on logic or rationale”, it really doesn’t help to see these guys use emotional appeal to gain the female audience. They tell you how beautiful you are and appeal to your desire to have a man understand your plight in the quest for love. They even have you asking yourself, “Why can’t I find someone like him?”

That’s EXACTLY where the problem lies. Ladies, these men have no idea who you are so your chances with them are very slim. Of course everything looks and sounds like perfection, but would you listen if he wasn’t so handsome? No matter what these men tell you, unless you’re able to learn from your own experiences and be truthful with yourself in those experiences, you’re wasting your time hanging on their every word.

As I’ve said earlier, I’ve already realized everything that these guys say. I’ve either experiened it myself, witnessed and learned, or learned from friends. At the end of it all, I’ve still made dumb choices, ones that I have completely owned up to. Why do I own these mistakes? Because I believe in being honest with yourself, you’ll understand how dangerous it is to hang onto those pretty words instead of honestly learning from your experiences. I can’t even say that my mistakes were mistakes, I knew better and chose to do the exact opposite.

These guys are cool and all, but before this social media phenomenon there was always common sense. Be honest with yourself. Take time to seek wisdom outside of social media. Live and learn on your own terms and stop hanging onto the words of those pretty men.

blogging · Uncategorized

My Third Month Of Blogging: When Life Gets Realer

break

“Keshia’s Modern Life” is just a few days shy of its third month of existence, so it’s that time again to share what I’ve experienced this month. This month’s theme: Blogging Is Hard.

I know I’ve said this multiple times before, but this past month had a way of stressing that fact over and over again. This is the month where I’ve learned that sometimes you need to TAKE a mental break before you HAVE a mental break. If you don’t make time for yourself, your body will have a way of forcing you to make that time and it won’t be pretty.

Since starting this blog, I’ve had a rest day or two sprinkled into my schedule. Recently, I’d planned to just have a normal rest day, but things kinda went left. Nothing SERIOUS had happened, I just found myself mentally and exhausted. The mental fatigue trickled down to the rest of my body and I had a lot of stress-induced pain. So, instead of just taking one day off, I took DAYS off. The decision to take a little vacay was harder than you’d think.

When working to achieve something, it’s painful for me to just stop. I felt like I was cheating the process. I’m always afraid that time off will unintentionally become permanent. I was frustrated by my sense of urgency to create something even though I was mentally unable to make it happen. No matter how frustrated, I understood that I needed the break so that I could actually return to achieving. After having some time off, I’m better able to actually get things done.

If you’re reading this and happen to want to start a blog of your own, I forever will encourage you to go for it! I don’t share my experiences as a means of discouragement but as a means of honest transparency. Each day brings its own challenge and they’re much easier to handle when you’re not expecting unicorns and rainbows. Don’t be afraid to make time for yourself along the way.

I’m looking forward to this fourth month of blogging as I’ve got some new things planned. I truly love blogging and I have to say that I even love the growing pains that I’m experiencing along the way. I’m growing with each passing month, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

blogging · Current Events

Trust The Process: My Second Month of Blogging

I’m nearing month 3 of “Keshia’s Modern Life”and today I’d like to let you guys know what new things I’ve experienced since my last progress report (go ahead and check that out). If I had to choose a theme for this past month, it would be “Trust The Process”. Month 1 was spent getting things off of the ground, but this second month has been about keeping and gaining momentum. Now that I’m off the ground, time to hit the clouds.

Here are 3 things that I’ve learned this month:

NEW DEFINITION OF “CONSISTENCY”

punch clock

My posting schedule has changed A LOT. There were days where I would feel so obligated to the schedule that I’d get caught up in writer’s block–NO TIME FOR THAT. During this second month I came to understand this: I needed to be obligated to my blog content, not a schedule. Now, I don’t judge myself based on sticking to a scheduled time of day for posting; I focus more on the consistency of quality. I may not be able to post at 9:00 a.m., but when an inspired post comes to mind at 12:30 p.m., that is what I will write about. I’d rather wait for inspiration than lose the organic feel. I already punch the clock 5 days a week, we’re not doing that over here.

FINDING MY VOICE

“Keshia’s Modern Life” is about me. It’s based on my viewpoints and discoveries while I adult my way through life. If it’s based on me, why do I have to find MY OWN voice? The answer to this is pretty simple. I’ve had to come to the realization that my charm is found in the way I say things. Originally, I was afraid of being too informal because I didn’t want to lose quality. Now, I feel more comfortable in becoming one with the content. I HAVE TO BE MYSELF!!

AUDIENCE BUILDING

fb 100Let’s make one thing clear: I’M NOT WRITING TO MYSELF HERE! The whole point of this thing is to share my awesomeness with you, and to grow from the awesomeness of your prositive vibes! Audience is key to blogging, and this month I have had to dig deep in figuring out who my audience is. This discovery is key for one reason: If I don’t know who I’m speaking to, then how can I give you what you want? The toughest part of this process has been audience engagement. I love interating with people, but it can be hard to get the audience to continue dialogue (usually done via comments). My crew is growing slowly but surely, so hopefully next month’s update will include my breaking that engagement wall.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: BLOGGIN’ AIN’T EASY!!! You’ll spend a lot of time questioning yourself. You’re going to stretch your mind beyond its comfort zone. You’re going to wonder if you’ll ever reach anyone outside of your bedroom. Don’t be discouraged! This is only a part of your story, trust in yourself and trust in the process.

P.S.

If you’re on Facebook, make sure you click here to follow “Keshia’s Modern Life” for even more Keesh goodness not found on my blog! We officially hit the 100 Fans milestone yesterday!!! Let’s Keep Growing!!

Thanks for your continued support, and let’s see where the next month takes us!

blogging

How I Started Blogging (And How You Can Too)

Since starting this site, I’ve been asked several questions:

  • Why did you start a blog?
  • How do you start a blog?
  • What do you do on a blog?

I’ve covered bits and pieces of this in different posts, but what better way to answer these questions than by putting all of the information into one post? Before I began blogging again, I took some time to research a bit to see what kind of insight I’d stumble upon. Today, I share this insight with you, along with insight based on my own experience.

WHAT IS A BLOG?

If you’re trying to find out what a blog is, you’re likely to do a Google search–I’ll save you the trouble. According to Google, a blog is defined as a regularly updated website or web page, typically one run by an individual or small group, that is written in an informal or conversational style. Long story short, just about any website that you’ve likely viewed can be considered a blog. The site you visit to get your celebrity gossip fix? Blog. The site you visit for fun cupcake recipes? Blog. A blog isn’t some special species that exists in the wide world of interwebs, it’s more simple than you realize and anyone can start one.

HOW DO YOU START A BLOG?

Now that you know what a blog is, you’re probably ready to get right to it. Wait. Before starting a blog, it’s important to ask yourself one question: Why do you want to start a blog in the first place?

I’ve included that pivotal question in this section because I think that the reason has to be established before starting anything. When you ask yourself this question, don’t assume that your reason is lame. I have only one requirement for your answer: Your answer had better be strong enough to keep you going every day.

Here are a few examples of reasons to begin blogging:

  • you need an outlet for your emotions
  • you want to educate others on a certain topic
  • you want to earn extra money (or full-time money) without punching a clock
  • you want to share your artistic talents with other (music, design, etc.)

Why did I start? I began blogging because I was in need of an outlet. I feel like my life’s purpose is to share with people; you never know how your words can impact the lives of others who may deal with similar issues. I’m still in the trenches of creating posts and building an audience, but I’ve certainly learned a lot about the blogging process in a short period of time.

Ohhhh Snap! Now it’s time to start your blog!

For me, setting up the site was the easy part. I’d had experience with blogging before and knew to visit www.wordpress.com to create my blog. The dashboard is easy to navigate and it makes life easy for the first-time blogger. On the dashboard, you will be able to choose from different themes–free or premium–to give your site that snazzy look. Decide what type of post schedule you will have (daily, weekly, every 2 days, etc.). The overall look of your posts will vary based on the blog’s purpose. I like to include a single picture in each of my posts (longer posts can use more), and at some point, I will start to include videos. You can work using the WordPress domain that you create, or you can invest in your own domain name. In my humble opinion, the look and feel of your blog can (and will) change over time so those things don’t matter as much at the very beginning.

Having said all this, I know that easy isn’t easy for everyone and some need a little more help getting started. Whether you need help in the technical department or in finding your “WHY”, I am here to help.

The whole point of this section is this: GET STARTED!!

ACTIVE BLOGGING MODE

Ok. So now you’ve started your blog. You’re all jacked up on the mountain dew of life and you’re just ready to post your life away. Let me warn you now: it’s not all unicorns and lemonade. There are going to be days where you will struggle to fit your blog posts into your already busy schedule. There will be days where you will have no idea what to talk about. The active blogging state is the true test of your commitment. If you don’t really care to be committed to the blogging process, that’s fine, that just means that this entire post may not be meant for you at all. For those of you who, like myself, find purpose in blogging and want to see how far it can take you, these hard times can cause great damage to your confidence.

DON’T GIVE UP!! I started out blogging every single day. At first, it was easy for me to post every day. Once things in my life started changing my routine, it became harder to commit to posting daily. It became harder to decide what I would write about. These days, whenever I find myself unable to find a topic to write about, I just resolve to find inspiration throughout my day. This tactic may mean that I end up posting much later in the day, but it’s always better than not posting at all. I have to remind myself every day that this is my purpose, this is the one thing I look forward to on a regular basis. It’s ok to take a break to refresh and recharge, just don’t break so long that you fall off the horse completely.

The point of this section: Give yourself room to learn the process and to learn yourself in those first months of blogging. Everyone’s experience is different. Allow yourself to feel the process, and you’ll be able to blog in YOUR way. This is how you will find your voice.

WHERE’S MY AUDIENCE?

This is the area that I’m still working on locking down. From my experience, I’ve found that the key to gaining an audience is posting consistently, and posting on as any platforms as possible. WordPress allows you to set up sharing options for most of the major social media networks. I have each of my posts set to share to my Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn accounts. I also share screenshots of each post to my Instagram–I have the link to my blog in the bio. As you chug along on your blogging journey, you’ll get an idea as to what kind of posts your readers like the most. You can share your posts all day long, but sharing means nothing if your posts are not quality.

The point of this section: Consistently post your QUALITY material on different platforms and your audience will grow. Take note of the types of posts that your audience is most drawn to, this will help you KEEP that audience.

The decision to blog was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Since the start of this journey, I have learned so much about myself, my abilities, and how to reach others. You may have read this post and said to yourself, “Yeah, this isn’t for me.” and that is okay!! This post was meant to give insight–a peek behind the curtain–so that you can make the decision for yourself. I encourage you all to give it a shot because you never know what you’ll discover about yourself.

Happy Blogging!!