Every online dating experience starts the same way. I set up the profile and I just wait for the messages to start popping up. I’ll even waste time writing a decent bio as if someone will take the time to read it–what am I thinking? I’ll get a lot of flirts, “So-and-so wants to meet you!”, but I won’t get enough messages to match the superficial “swipe left or right” flirting. By the time I get my third or fourth “hey wyd?” or “wats up sexy?”, I’m poised and ready to deactivate my account.
Why the hell am I doing this again?
Instead of deactivating, I press forward. I mean, how can I ever meet anyone if I can’t keep a profile for more than an hour? Ok, cool. I’ll actually strike up a continuous convo with about 2 or 3 guys. Next, I’ll get overwhelmed about the idea of entertaining more than one guy at a time–really stretching my player muscles. I may even exchange numbers, but I don’t save the numbers since I figure that I won’t need them past the first week. We’ll text up a storm–or drizzle rather–but we’ll never meet. I generally don’t meet the guy for one of two reasons: our schedules won’t match up, or I’m refusing a hookup of some sort. Before you know it, I’ve deleted the message threads from my phone.
I don’t feel like I’ve wasted time because I sometimes see the online dating experience as a welcome distraction from my usual grind. What DOES set me off is the fact that EVERY interaction ends the same way. I can only play “Ring Around The Text Message” for so long. I hate small talk.
The next step is deactivation. My patience has been depleted and defeated. After each experience, I’m left asking myself why I bothered in the first place, and why I keep giving online dating any time at all.
I’ve tried all the methods. I’ve held conversation after conversation. I’ve laid down my charm smackdown in the inbox. I’ve even taken it upon myself to approach the guy first in the hopes of actually connecting with someone I’m initially interested in. No matter what, NO DICE!!! I don’t get it.
I KNOW there are decent guys out there in the online dating world–I’m a decent woman whose been in that same world. I’m usually left concluding that those men either don’t find me attractive, OR I didn’t stick around long enough to catch one–not that they’re Pokemon or anything. I just need to understand how to make the online thing work for me, especially since it seems like that’s the only way to get a guy to talk to me in the first place. I’m sure that online dating can be a great thing, but I feel like too many people are just running amuck, so the experience amounts to nothing.
I know the whole world is not about to change for me, but what I need is physical energy. I need dating in the real world. I need to be around you in person. I need to be able to talk to you and not feel like I’m the one carrying the conversation. I need for you to not be 20 years older than me. I need for you to not Catfish me. If you’re down for some good ol’fashioned dating, then I’m all for it. I’m sure we’d have to dig into the ancient artifacts to find out what that kind of dating is, but that’s cool.
Am I asking for too much??
For those out there fighting that good online dating fight, I salute you. You have a patience that I have yet to master.
I downloaded another dating app–I’ve been on there before a few times–and I have yet to even open it since downloading. I’m trying to muster up the strength to go forward. So far, I haven’t mustered nor ketchuped any strength.
(Get it? Mustard and Ketchup? LOL No? Maybe that’s why I’m single haha.)